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    I finally decided to leave both feet on the floor. Nervous energy washed over me every time I thought about the conversation I was about to vourtship. I couldn't believe that I was doing this-that in only a few minutes she would be sitting across from me. Shannon Hendrickson and I had been friends for about a year. We worked in the same office. She was a secretary and I was an intern. The first thing I noticed about Shannon was her eyes-they were a bluish, greenish, gray color, and they sparkled when she smiled. The second thing was how tiny she was. Exactly five feet tall, Shannon defines the word petite.

    At only five feet six inches myself, a girl who actually looked up into my eyes was a rare find. I caught my first glimpse of her on the Sunday she got up in church and shared the story of how she'd become a Christian. Two and a half years earlier she'd had no interest in God. At the time she'd just returned to Maryland from college in New Hampshire, where she'd lived the typical party life. It was an empty life lived for herself-a life ruled by sin. Back home, she threw all her energy into her dream of becoming a professional singer.

    Soon a move to Nashville seemed the next sensible step up the ladder of stardom. That's just the kind of person she was. Her parents had gotten divorced when she was nine, and her dad had raised her to be self-reliant. She would set her sights on a goal, and then do whatever was needed to get there. Before heading to Nashville, she wanted to take a few guitar lessons. She asked around about a teacher, and a friend referred her to a guitarist named Brian Chesemore, who was looking for students. What Shannon didn't know was that Brian was a Christian and was looking for opportunities to share his faith. Her guitar lessons would turn out to be soul saving.

    After a few weeks of lessons, Brian told Shannon how Jesus had changed his life. She listened politely but said she could never live like he did. But her confident rejection was an act. She couldn't get Brian's questions out of her head. What if there was a God?

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    “Goodbye Dating, Hello Courtship”

    Something Better Growing up, I always hoped that when I saw the girl I was going to marry, it would be love at Goodbye dating hello courtship sight. As it turned out, my chance for a "love at first sight moment" went right over my head. In fact, I was sitting next to Rachel's mother that morning. When Shannon finished speaking, Rachel's mom leaned over and noted what a "cute girl" Shannon was, a remark that I now find very ironic. God had set me up. As I sat there next to the mother of my plan for my future, God was parading His plan for my future right in front of my eyes.

    He had mapped a course for me that was more wonderful than anything I could come up with on my own, and He was making sure that in the days to come I would never question that this good plan had originated in His mind. Three months later Shannon and I wound up working together at the church office. We hit it off right away, but I wasn't thinking about anything beyond friendship. When someone asked me if I was interested in her, I thought the question was Goodbye dating hello courtship. Shannon was a terrific girl, I said, but not the kind of person I envisioned marrying. Besides, our backgrounds were too different. She was a new Christian from a broken home. I'd probably marry someone who had been homeschooled and raised in the church like I had-someone like Rachel.

    But over the next six months my plans for a future with Rachel began to unravel like a cheap sweater. I remember the afternoon I found out that she liked another guy. Rachel and I had only been friends, and she hadn't led me on, but it still hurt. I needed to talk to God. I shut my office door; but that didn't seem private enough, so I squeezed myself into my small office closet and pulled the door shut. There in the darkness I started to cry. I wasn't mad at Rachel; I wasn't bitter. I cried because I knew God was behind it all.

    He was the one who had closed the door on a relationship with Rachel, and He'd done it for my good. I was over-whelmed by the thought that the God of the universe was willing to be involved in the details of my life-that He'd be willing to reach down and shut a door that He didn't want me to walk through. Still crying, I began to thank Him. I don't understand, but I know You're taking this away because You have something better. I stopped trusting in my own carefully laid plans and asked God to show me His. Change of Heart Around that time I began to see Shannon in a new light. Her kindness to others and me caught my attention.

    She had a passion for God and a maturity that belied her short time as a believer. How can I explain it? She just began to pop up in my thoughts and prayers. I looked forward to the chance to see her and talk. What I learned about her through our interaction and from what I heard from others impressed me. I saw that all the reasons I had for why I wouldn't be interested in her were shallow. God was changing my heart. All this had made the months leading up to my phone call torturous. I went through the "I shouldn't be distracted by this" phase.

    Then the "I am distracted by this" phase. Before my would-be husband came on the scene, this is what I already had in mind. If a guy was interested in being more than friends, he needed to: Ladies and gentlemen, please know and understand that you are worth the best God wants to give you. To my fellow sisters out there — you deserve to be pursued! When a man realizes how precious you are…when he is willing to do what it takes to win your heart…when he will fight to preserve your purity, you will experience a love so true and so deep that you will know he is worthy of marriage. To my brothers who want to grow into the men God made you to be — this is what you were created for!

    If the woman pursues you, she will rob you of your very identity as a man and over time, you will lose yourself in that relationship. Of course she may show you that she appreciates you as a person. Of course she will be attracted to you. But you need to learn how to lead. Because you, my brothers, will be the husbands…the fathers…the heads of your households who must stand strong as the pillars of faith and family discipline. Yes, this is different.