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    Dating the ex of your best friend

    Especially if he or she is miles separated. The postcode probably won't last. Time on your own excellent. Pilossoph is a first business features reporter and lilith for Sun-Times In.

    I can't stop thinking about her. I'm kind friendd obsessed. And I think she wants to take it to the next level, too. The problem is, my friend had a deep relationship with this you, and I yiur he's still kind of in love with her. So what do I do here? Can I get away with dating my friend's ex? Will he be able to handle this? Besg is that people never really get over significant romantic relationships. I don't mean that you can never be happy again after breaking up with someone. Of course you can. But it's largely a matter of compartmentalizing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting. You get a new life so you don't spend all your time sitting around and crying about your old one like the baby you are.

    Sure, people will talk about their old relationships and say that they're "over it" or that it "wasn't meant to be," or pepper you with other related nonsense phrases, but what they mean is they're not thinking about it right now. All of those old wounds stick around, just waiting to be re-opened.

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    You're always going to feel weird when you see your ex, at least a little bit. If you're still friends friebd your exit wasn't that serious, or it's still serious. And, if you date your friends' ex, you're froend your friend thw your romantic feelings are more important than dx happiness. Because they're going to see you holding yoour with their aDting, and remember how nice that felt, and if you think they won't envision you having sex together, you're being naive. Of course, that's going to hurt. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. You're saying, "screw you and your silly emotions, I've got to get laid. Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex?

    It means that vest a bad idea, Dxting that's not the same as "never do it. Dating the ex of your best friend possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands. Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. If this Regret not dating more the case, you'd be missing out on years of potential passion if you passed up frirnd this girl for bet sake of sparing your friends' feelings. Like I said, Datint is a tough one. You've got a hell of a decision to make.

    Accordingly, you should Datlng this like tour other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too? I hated them and everyone else who I thought could possibly know about their relationship. I felt like a victim of deceit.

    I thought about them giggling and laughing and kissing and being blissfully happy. The relationship lasted for about 6 months I think and years later, I've come to realize how silly and stupid I was for having the reaction I did. I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane: What they are doing is really uncool and unacceptable. YOU have done nothing to warrant their behavior. Their relationship is working because of the "scandalous and forbidden" element.

    That's half the fun for them. When that wears off, and everyone in the community moves on to the next piece of gossip, and your ex and your friend really get to know each other, the appeal will fade. He or she could be doing this to you to act out his or her passive aggressive anger. How sick is that? Don't even put yourself into that venom. Remove yourself from it and rise above. Grit your teeth, accept it, act classy and show grace to the outside world. I remember people in my neighborhood would tell me they saw them out and I would seriously cringe, and then go home and cry. The people weren't trying to be cruel, by the way.

    Make sure not to react in front of others because it could get back to your ex and your friend I mean, your ex friend. Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted. DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's unproductive, psychotic and immature. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that's okay. Just don't go postal. Call your REAL girlfriends. The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships.

    So, call your girls up!

    Call the ones you know are your true friends. They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you are loved. The relationship probably won't last.